Lost without you
by MutantNinjaMikey
Summary: Dustfinger returned to the book... but what if it wasn't what should have happened?


Writing used to be her passion, but she hasn't had anything to do with it since he left. For the longest time, she was just a shell. Her mother couldn't help her, not even Mo seemed to be able to pull her from her personal hell. She was trapped inside a cage made of fantasy and dreams, none of which would ever come true.

Eventually, she did find an escape. Music. She didn't play and instrument, she sang. Every day, she would sing for hours on end. It was the only thing that kept her going until night came. But once the sun set, she was back into her cage, taking a razor blade to the soft flesh of her inner arm, sighing as the sharp blade parted her skin over and over, the deep red running down, mixing with the tears that fell from her blue eyes.

The only thing that ever showed her mixed up emotions was her hair. Long and blonde, it never just stayed its true color. She never completely dyed it a different color, but she continually streaked it. Blue, black, green, red, purple…every week it was a different color. When people asked why she did it, she simply replied "Blonde is just too boring".

At the moment, she was flipping though her IPod, looking for a good song to sing. She paused when she came to Superchick's Wishes. She decided that it fit her mood, and clicked play.

_The saddest thing is you could be anything_

_That you could want_

_We could have been everything_

_But now we're not_

_Now it's not anything at all_

Mo glanced up from the book he was reading as soon as he heard his daughter's voice, and sighed. He marked his page, sat back, and listened. He wished that he knew what had changed his daughter so much. She used to be so full of life, and now, she was just a pale imitation. What had happened to make his daughter so jaded? She was so condescending. He couldn't remember the last time she smiled.

_The hardest part was getting this close to you_

_And giving up this dream i built with you_

_A fairytale that isn't coming true_

_You've got some growing up to do_

Resa felt the tears collecting in the corners of her eyes. She knew why Meggie was so upset. She loved the man that had left this world six years ago. She was in love with Dustfinger, and always would be. She wiped her eyes and straightened up. This is the last time that her daughter would cry. She left to find Mo.

_I wish we could have worked it out_

_I wish I didn't have these doubts_

_I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now_

_I wish I didn't know inside_

_That it won't work out for you and I_

_I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye_

Resa knocked on the door to Mo's workshop, knowing that he was in there. He opened the door and she swept by him to stand in the middle of the room. She crossed her arms and stared at him.

"This is the last time that our daughter is going to cry for this," she said firmly.

"You know why she's been so depressed?" Mo asked surprised. She nodded.

_After all the things you put me through_

_Tell me why i'm still in love with you_

_And why am i, why am i still waiting for your call_

Resa winced as Meggie sang. Mo sighed.

"Resa….why? Why has my daughter been so depressed? Why does she hide behind that tough exterior? Why do tears fall from her eyes every time she thinks no one is looking? Resa…what happened to take my daughter away from me?" He asked, tears falling from his eyes.

"She's in love. She loves a man that left here six years ago. Mo, she loves Dustfinger," Resa said, sobbing.

_You broke my heart_

_I'm taking it back from you_

_And taking back the life i gave to you_

_Life goes on before and after you_

_I've got some growing up to do._

"No. No. No, no, no, no, no. Please Resa, no. She can't love him. She…she can't…." Mo shook his head.

"But she does Mo. She loves him, and he's in the Inkworld…." Resa said dejectedly. Mo walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. They stood there crying, listening to their daughter try to sing the pain out of her heart, painting every note with sorrow, knowing that no matter what she sang, the pain would still be there.

_I wish we could have worked it out_

_I wish I didn't have these doubts_

_I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now_

_I wish I didn't know inside_

_That it won't work out for you and I_

_I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye_

_It's time I said my last goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_It's time I said my last goodbye_

_I wish we could have worked it out_

_I wish I didn't have these doubts_

_I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now_

_I wish I didn't know inside_

_That it won't work out for you and i_

_I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye_

_It's time I said my last goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_It's time I said my last goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_It's time I said my last goodbye_

As Meggie finished singing, Resa looked up at Mo.

"we have two choices here Mo. We either let our daughter continue the rest of her life in sadness and pain, or…." She trailed off.

"Or we bring Dustfinger back," Mo finished. She nodded, never breaking eye contact with her husband. She could see the internal battle in his blue eyes, exactly like their daughter's. A small sob echoed through the house from Meggie, and Resa knew that it had just decided for her father.

"I'll go get the book."

Meggie was curled into a ball on her floor, tears pouring from her eyes. No, she thought. I can't do this until later. What if Mo or Resa come in? But still, she didn't move. She sat, crying, trying to get all of the pain surrounding her to disappear. Her IPod began to play again. The song blaring through the speakers sobered her immediately. Another Superchick song, Stand in the Rain. The soft guitar beginning penetrated her bubble of pain. She took a deep breath, ignoring the throbbing in her arms begging and pleading with her to take her razor blade to them. She wiped the tears away, pushed her black streaked hair out of her face, and began to sing.

_She never slows down._

_She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's_

_all alone, feels like its all coming down_

_She won't turn around_

_The shadows are long and she fears if she cries_

_that first tear, the tears will not stop_

_raining down_

On the other end of the house, Mo was flipping through Inkheart, looking for a section to read from. Suddenly, he froze.

"What's wrong?" Resa asked when she caught sight of her husbands' face. He looked up at her with a horrified expression.

"The story…..it…it changed….." He stuttered.

"What?" She gasped. Mo nodded.

"There was a….a fire….Dustfinger's daughters died while he was in our world…" He said. Resa stood there shocked. "That's not all Resa," He continued.

"What else happened?" she asked, a little afraid of the answer.

"Roxanne remarried….she and Dustfinger aren't together anymore…she's a healer now," He choked out.

"Oh my God," Resa sighed. "We thought we sent Dustfinger back to happiness…turns out we sent him to even more heartbreak and pain," Mo walked over and hugged her close. They heard Meggie begin to sing again.

"Oh God, our poor baby girl," Mo mumbled. "She's been through so much, I don't know how she's still even alive,"

"I know Mo, I know," Resa said into his chest.

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_You stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_You stand in the rain_

Mo and Resa were standing in the family library, the book sitting on the table in front of them. Resa was writing what Mo would read to bring Dustfinger out. She finished with a flourish, a small smile on her lips.

"This should do it," She said to Mo. He picked it up and read it over.

"If this doesn't do it, nothing will," he said. kissing her on the cheek, he began to read.

Dustfinger was tired. Tired, and in pain. He no longer had his wife, although he didn't miss her. They had never really gotten along. He did miss his daughters, but that pain had faded with time. They had never cared for him. No, he was in pain for the girl he had left when he had returned home. The girl that he missed with every fiber of his being. She was so beautiful, and full of so much life. She was his sun, his soul, his heart. She was his Meggie.

"Mortimer? Resa?" a confused voice said.

"Dustfinger!" Resa cried. She ran and hugged him. Mo clapped him on the back.

"Good to see you Dust-" Mo began, only to be cut off by Dustfinger.

"Where is Meggie?" He asked frantically.

"She's in her room," Resa said. "I know you want to see her, but first we need to talk," and with that, they told Dustfinger what had happened when he had gone back.

"So…all this time…she loved me back?" He asked. Mo nodded. "But Mo, I know that you would rather me die than be anywhere near your daughter," he said, confused

"Normally, that would be true. But, you haven't seen her Dustfinger. She's been just a shell since you went back. She doesn't smile, or laugh anymore. I don't know how much longer she can last," Mo replied.

_She won't make a sound_

_Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down_

_She wants to be found_

_The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down._

"Mo, who's singing? I can't remember the last time I heard so much pain," Dustfinger said, cringing slightly. Instantly, all joy disappeared from Mo's face.

"That's Meggie," Mo said in a strangled tone.

"I see…"Dustfinger said, frowning.

"I'll take you to her," Mo said.

"I'll come too," quipped Resa. Suddenly, she froze.

"What's wrong love?" Mo asked her.

"Music is playing….but Meggie isn't singing," Resa whispered fearfully.

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_You stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_You stand in the rain_

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_Stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_You stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_You stand in the rain_

They listened fearfully, hoping that Meggie would begin to sing again. They listened to the depressing song, not once hearing their daughters voice. They turned to say something, but Dustfinger beat them to it.

"Something's wrong with Meggie," and he burst out of the library, running to find her.

While Meggie's parents had been doing everything they could to keep their daughter from finally giving up and giving in to the pain, she was doing just that.

I'll never have him back, she thought. And, even if by some miracle, I saw him again, why would he want me? He has his wife and his daughters. He has a family. Why would he want me, an ugly, stupid, useless girl? I'm worthless...There's no way I could ever be like this song. I can never stand strong… and with that, she made up her mind. She wouldn't ever do this again. She would never do anything again. She stood tall, grabbed her razor blade from her nightstand drawer, and walked to the bathroom.

She ran a warm bath, and slowly removed her clothes, leaving on her black bra and panties. Eventually, someone would find her, and she didn't want to be naked when that happened. When the tub was full, she stepped in. She took the razor in her hand, and dragged it across her left arm. She sighed as the blood poured from it, staining the water pink. She repeated this over and over, until her entire forearm was covered in blood, and then did the same with her right arm, all the while crying while listening to the song. She smiled just a little bit at the irony. As the song was ending, so was her life. Her vision began to blur as she dragged the razor harder and deeper across her flesh. She realized that she was sobbing extremely loudly, so much that her parents could probably hear her.

Next thing she knew, someone burst into the bathroom, yelling "Meggie!" Wait….she knew that voice. She opened her eyes and saw the one person that she was sure that she would never see again. Dustfinger.

"Dustfinger?" She questioned softly. He lifted her out of the tub, getting his shirt soaked in the process. He rested her on the floor.

"Yes, yes Meggie. It's me. I'm here," He murmured, lowering to his knees to treat her cuts. When he finished bandaging them, he lifted her into his arms and sat on the floor just holding her close.

"But…you can't be…you went home…you're happy now…You don't want me," She whispered into his chest.

"Meggie…how could I not want you? Ever since I first saw you, I knew that I loved you Meggie. For the past six years, you have been the only thing on my mind," He said into her soaked hair.

"But, your family, what about them?" She asked confused.

"I'll explain all of that another time princess. Right now, just know that I love you, okay?" He answered.

"I love you too Dustfinger. I always have," she said sleepily.

"You're tired, and you've had a very trying time lately. Go to sleep love, I'll take care of you, I promise," he said, smiling softly.

"But…what if you're gone like last time?" She asked, referring to when her father had read him back into the book. She had gone to bed, and when she woke up the next morning, Dustfinger was nowhere to be found.

"Meggie, I'm not going anywhere. Not today, not tonight, not ever, okay?" He answered. She nodded, curling into him, drifting to sleep. He stood, and carried her to her room, not even noticing that her parents were following them. He set her softly on her bed, pulling the covers over her nearly naked form. He pulled up a chair next to the bed, and took her hand in his.

Mo and Resa had come in as Dustfinger was telling Meggie he loved her. They watched as he took care of her, noticing the pure love that was in his eyes. They watched as their daughter smiled a genuine smile for the first time in six years, and as she drifted off into the first fitful sleep she had that they could remember. Mo wrapped his arms around Resa's waist, and pulled her to his chest. She overlapped her arms with his, smiling softly.

"Well, it's not who I would have preferred her to be with, but…" Mo trailed off.

"They love each other Mo. They can't control it, and I'm sure that if they had a choice, they wouldn't choose each other to love. But they can't, and at least we know that he will always take care of her," Resa sighed. Mo nodded, and watched his daughter sleeping with Dustfinger by her side. He knew that they would face many problems, and probably fight and break up frequently, but they would always find their way back to each other

His fiery princess had finally found her fiery prince, and just like the stories that she had enjoyed so much as a child, Meggie would live "Happily Ever After".


End file.
